Quaviver (quavi) wrote,

Last night I was a slut (in my dreams)

I had marginally more success dreaming about sex tonight. Apparently, my high school crush (our salutatorian, let's call him Crush) was spooning up behind me and cuddling me lovingly in bed. It was all nice and snuggly. But some other dude started trying to draw me away from him. Guy2 was all like, "Crush is so old. You don't have a future with him!" And true enough, Crush turned into this gray-haired, mustachioed dude. He puckered up his whiskery lips for a kiss, and that's when that dream shut down.

Then I turned lesbian and began flirting with this foxy villainess in a pulled-back chignon and red-and-black ballgown. That would have been fine, except the one I really wanted was a shy blonde ingenue whom I eventually seduced by telling her how deeply I loved her. We had sexy times in a jacuzzi, but my dream perspective was tastefully blocked by a bathroom wall. Because I'm a prude even in my sex dreams.

Suddenly, through our lovable tub frolicking, we both became aware that Villainess was coming, and my blonde ingenue broke free from my arms and skipped out the bathroom (actually skipping, light as a nymph). When Villainess came in, I was torso-deep inside a toilet. I calmly explained to her that I was just using this bathroom because the bathtub in my dorm room wasn't working. Not sure why I didn't realize I was dreaming at that point. I was seeing all this from the perspective of Villainess, and I really should have gotten a clue from, I don't know, seeing myself with only my head and shoulders sticking out of a toilet? That said, in the dream, I was a ravishly lovely brunette with super pale skin, like a Chinese lady. Maybe that's why I didn't recognize myself, even though I had this vague conviction that Pale Brunette was the main character and was me.

Come to think of it, I've never seen myself as my actual self in a dream.Which makes sense. In real life, you never actually see yourself doing anything. I mean, from your own perspective, you're just everything neck-down and to the front.

In order to simulate watching yourself from outside, you have to have a pretty extensive home video collection so you can remember how you really look like in various scenarios. So I guess whenever the Dream Machine chooses to switch me out to some other character's perspective, it has to make up random dreamselves for me and just summarily declare "Yup, that's you now."

I'm thinking it has something to do with RPGs. You see the main character on the screen, it's the one you're controlling and the one identified in the gameworld as you. But it's not actually you you, since you're sitting on the other side of the computer screen.

Anyway. I went back to my dorm room, and apparently, it was already all over the news that I was a lesbian corruptor of blonde virgins. I came to an empty room and somehow knew that my roommates were holding a meeting about whether or not I should be booted out. They came in, two of them sheepish, one of them righteously outraged. Ms. Righteous kicked me out and that's the end of that dream.

Uh, how to interpret this? Obviously, Villainess was me. So was Ingenue. I think I'm trying to get back to a state that Ingenue represents, but Villainess (the meanest parts of my ego) is stopping me and so is Ms. Righteous (my judgmental superego).

So what does Ingenue stand for? Random word association time!
Freedom, Wildness
Genuine emotion
Genuine expression
Lack of ties

Obviously my dreams are telling me to run away into a forest and be a nymph. Right.

Still no idea why I was submerged in a toilet though. 
Tags: dream diary, ingenue, lesbian imagery, villainess
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.